The Only Rules Are There Are No Rules
Netflix at night and potential radical self acceptance.
Soooooo how’s everyone doing?
We’ve had some high highs and some low lows both literally and figuratively this week. And while the astrology suggests otherwise, I personally feel like direction at large has been a bit of a moving target.
The required switch between taking a screen-free afternoon to read in a friend’s pool and staying informed on nuclear warfare is a little hard to {continue to} metabolize.
I was talking to Lindsay the other day about my recent aha moment realizing I have a pretty steady stream of negative dialogue going on between the ears. Why do I do this? I need to stop that this very minute! But also not shame myself for it! But also change the channel! Wait, what was I saying?
Dragging around the audacity of every single task does not make crossing things off your to-do list amidst the demise of democracy very enjoyable.
Lindsay brought up the popular perspective shift of repeating to yourself you “get to do something” vs. you “have to do it” which I wrote about last year.
Are We Having Fun Yet?
The other week I was wrapping up a Tuesday therapy session when Valerie snuck in, “so, are you having any fun down there?”
Like I get to spend hours I’ll never get back determining whether my mortgage company is trying to charge me gap flood insurance as an underhanded con or if I’m actually already covered appropriately (I am) vs. I have to consistently dodge home ownership scams every day as a way of saving money to then pay the town school tax which will go towards repaving a track that absolutely does not need repaving even though I have all but zero children of my own.
The idea sounds nice, but has never really worked for me. It’s very what are you going to do with your one precious life.
As I was saying, we are working on changing our sour attitude toward ourselves.
Being able to very quickly — almost INSTANTANEOUSLY — identify when we are spiraling and when we just need to keep it moving is a skill that I believe will serve in many variations of the personal and global apocalypse.
If you stick with me I think this might be able to be spun into what they call “radical acceptance.” Of the self and also of these unprecedented times.
If I can get to this place in my head that everything matters and nothing matters it will be easier to let them*. “Them” being everyone and everything and also myself. We’re in a cultural house of cards so it’s probably essential to begin to tune all the way in to myself and that self be really nice. This is not a new concept, but one I think can get lost if you’re constantly wanting to get more, make more, do more, help more, give more, fix it.
A lot of people already operate this way — in their head and for themselves. They’ve overcorrected and are now just narcissists. The leader of the free world for one.
So I guess it’s more about discernment {working this out as I type}.
Another therapy session I was talking to Valerie about the fact that I feared I was too judgmental. I was reflecting on how I could be less bitchy and more kumbaya (in my head of course, in real life I’m a perfect angel). She responded that maybe just maybe I wasn’t bitchy at all. Maybe it was just the gut self discerning and heck, let it! Keep moving!
Again, this applies to others but also the self. Self discernment as an act of self preservation. What is worth working through and what do I just not have time for. What can I do now and what can I archive for later in the revolution. Where is the my opportunity? This little act of control in a time that feels very out of control is … comforting.
Listen, I don’t know what I’m saying at this point, the clock is about to strike 8pm and I need to watch some shows and eat some vegan ice cream. All we can be sure of is that nothing is for sure. Anyway, give my regards to broadway.
*The "Let Them" theory, popularized by Mel Robbins, is a mindset that encourages letting go of the need to control or manage other people's actions and choices. It emphasizes accepting others as they are, without trying to change them, and focusing instead on one's own reactions and boundaries. This approach can lead to reduced stress, improved relationships, and greater personal peace.